I found myself alone at PJP Buttonwood this afternoon, which isn't uncommon and isn't something I particularly mind. Because we have a full order for Lucky's tomorrow, a large delivery for a corporate client, and a packed full order board, I was doing about 37 different things at once (that too isn't terribly uncommon). I was working on two different pies, starting a load of dishes in the dishwasher, and both oven timers were buzzing. Suddenly the only thing that went through my mind was that song by The Talking Heads "Once In A Lifetime" (better known as the theme song from 1986's "Down And Out In Beverly Hills", featuring Richard Dreyfuss, Bette Midler, and Nick Nolte). http://youtu.be/o7pVjl4Rrtc
The least of the great lyrics in this song are the lines..."And you may ask yourself/well...how did I get here?"
AMEN. I had a moment when I turned from the dishwasher and stood in the middle of an epic mess with buzzing ovens and I thought...I either co-own or am in co-debt for everything in this space. (Insert huffing into a brown paper bag here). And the success of PJP V. 2.0 weighs on me like the 50 pound bags of granulated sugar that arrive from Sysco each week in bulk.
The nice (and ironic) thing about owning your own business is that your time for Talking Heads level emotional freak-outs is minimized by everything else you have to do. And so I pulled the pies out of the oven and turned off the timers and moved onto the next task on my list (who are we kidding...I never work from a list, but you know what I mean).
I think anyone that owns their own business will tell you that there comes a moment where you decide if you are, in fact, all in. All in with your time, your money, your resources, your thoughts, your beliefs, your motivations...all in with your everything. And I think that moment comes at different times for each person involved. Since beginning PJP, I've felt tired, I've felt overwhelmed, I've felt nervous, I've felt uncomfortable, I've felt stressed, and I've felt a wicked combination of all of those things at once...but I've never once felt true regret regarding the restart PJP V. 2.0. Even though my life has turned upside down in every possible way. Even though I have a callous from excessive whisk using. Even though I feel fairly uncertain about what I'm doing each day while everyone else who owns a business seems to have a secret map with all the answers. Even though my veins are full of mostly caffeinated beverages. None of these things give me regret...and so I feel confident that I'm all in for PJP V 2.0. Even though I'll look like this in the four short hours away when my alarm goes off...
"Same as it ever was..."