Jeanne-ology: Goodness

Hey!  It's Rebecca and it's Thursday, so you know what that means...Jeanne-ology.  Look, I don't even know what to say about this post but that this could be the most Jeanne thing I've ever read.  Enjoy!


Today was my day off and I had a relaxing morning with my coffee.  My husband and I don't speak to each other for the first two hours we are up.  We both have the understanding that I need time to think and scan the latest news.  He may be up, but he's not really awake. It takes about two hours before he finds a pulse. 

The rain came in and time was sweet.  I needed that because there have been so many decisions at my house to be made the last few days.  We bought our home about a year ago.  It is big, but some rooms need to be updated...mainly, our bathroom.  The countertop of our vanity is 10 feet long!  That is way too long with a tiled top.  Ugh!  It is also short at only 30 inches.  All that said, the bathroom needs to be completely gutted.  I gave the contractor a drawing of what we wanted and now we are waiting for the estimate.  In the meantime, we are putting up crown moulding in a few rooms of the house.  The ceilings are are tall and the biggest task will be for us to up on ladders.  My husband is fine with this, but it is common knowledge that I am clumsy. (Rebecca editing to add:  SO SO SO CLUMSY.)

Two days ago, I had three big falls within an eight hour timeframe.  (Rebecca editing to add:  Before anyone messages me to suggest I take her for a brain scan, this is 100% normal for her.  When I was in 7th grade, she fell on the stairs during the Take-Your-Parent-To-School Day and I still cringe thinking about it.)


The first fall was on our patio.  Our puppy had grabbed an ink pen off the patio table and as I leaned over to retrieve it, I leaned too hard and the chair flipped me out on the brick floor.  I wasn't really hurt, but I couldn't get up!  My knees have no padding left and it was painful to try to get up.  My husband was trying to help me by holding onto my arms and pulling me up.  I couldn't do it because my knees against the brick floor was incredibly painful.  I sent him to get a thick bath towel to put under my knees.  TWENTY minutes later he returned with a towel and said "is this thick enough?"  Finally I got back up into my chair and I was exhausted!  My prescription eyeglasses were missing and I could hear the crunching of the frames in the puppy's mouth.  My knees were still stinging and I was drenched in sweat.  I went to take a shower and cool off.  (Rebecca editing to add:  Remember that I live across the street from Jeanne, partly just for situations where she is stuck on her patio and can't get up without help.  Please note she didn't call my house.  Sounds right.)

The shower was heavenly, I ran it as cold as I could stand it.  I got out of the shower and my big toe caught the bottom rim of the shower door and I fell down again!  I was so mad that I didn't even yell for my husband to help.  He probably wouldn't have heard me anyway and I was too embarrassed!  I laid there a few minutes and figured out that I could scoot on my butt to the side of the jetted tub (the one I want removed) and pull myself up.  It worked!  I dried off and I never mentioned it to my husband.  (Rebecca editing to add:  Goodness.)

Early the next morning, about 4 am, the puppy needed to go outside, so I got up.  My husband keeps a little flashlight on the nightstand so that should he need to go to the bathroom, he has light and will not wake me up.  Getting up and realizing that my phone was not on my nightstand, I walked around and got his little flashlight.  I can hear the puppy wailing that I need to hurry or there might be a big poop mess waiting for me to clean up.  Forget the flashlight.  I returned the flashlight to his nightstand and headed for the bedroom door.  Leaning over to grab the footrail of the bed for balance, I realized that it wasn't there and fell full face and belly flopped on the floor.  My spare glasses dug into my nose and begin to bleed.  My husband slept peacefully through all of this.  He was finally woke up., asked if I could get up and then the next sound I heard was snoring.  I managed to get up and get the puppy out without a mess.  I plugged in the coffee pot, put the puppy back to bed, went out to the patio (in the dark) and just sat.  I thought what the heck are we doing trying to make improvement projects ourselves?  I am a moving disaster and my moves at the pace of snail.  Putting up one piece of crown moulding would probably be a month long project. One room would equal one month of moulding!  Four rooms would be four months!  Getting older is the worse.  Honestly, we will probably hire everything done.  If the contractor gives us a price three times as much as we expect, I know we will say, "when can you start?" (Rebecca editing to add:  someone, please, take their money.  Thanksgiving is in four months and I can't risk the perils of her installing crown moulding while we have 1,000 pies on order.)