Apple Pay for Apple Pie

I noticed on Square today that users are now able to reserve an Apple Pay reader to be shipped this fall as soon as it becomes available.  I've followed Apple Pay with some interest and wondered how offering the service to our customers would work with our current Square system.  And as it turns out, it looks like it will be just as easy as you would expect it to be...meaning, you'll waive your phone over the reader and'll pay for your pie purchases via your iPhone 6 or iPad or now, the new iWatch.  Pretty cool, if you ask me. I offhandedly mentioned reserving the Apple Pay reader to Jeanne and the resulting conversation was EPIC.  For Apple's marketing team, here is what Jeanne suggested Apple Pay to actually be...

  • A special way to only pay for apple pies.  Apple Pay for apple pies, if you will.
  • A special way to only pay for apples.  Just apples.
  • A new technology that will require us to discount all pies using apples.
  • A new tax on apples.
  • A conspiracy by cell phone providers to track our every move.
  • A conspiracy by the government to know what sort of pies we sell.
  • A conspiracy by the government to know what sort of pies people buy.

No amount of conversation could help her understand exactly how Apple Pay worked or why anyone would want to use it.  And then she blamed all of her conspiracy theories on AT&T because she thought the only way you could have a working iPhone was to use AT&T.  Once we convinced her that her iPhone will work with any provider, her mind was BLOWN.  (AT&T should really send some sort of focus group out and quiz Jeanne's every perception to see how they can convince every iPhone user in the world that they have to use AT&T.)

Mac then made the mistake of referencing android devices...which started a completely secondary conversation about what an android device is and why exactly it won't work with Apple Pay.  Which lead into why someone would use an android phone, what android means, how those people plan to get discounts on their apple pie, and if Apple is aware of the android device.

45 minutes later, she announced she is switching cell phone providers and going back to only writing checks instead of using a debit card or heaven forbid, her phone.  So basically, if you ever get stuck behind her writing a check for $9.22 at Caribou early in the morning, you can just blame Tim Cook.  Sounds legit.