Dear Square Reader... You joined Team PJP one year ago today. I know, right? No, I don't know where time goes either...I remember Behind-The-Scenes-Tech Guru Jason assembling you in our dining room at home just like it was yesterday. In order to celebrate you, we've put some thoughts together about just how much you mean to us at PJP Buttonwood.
To begin with, we must say you are ADORABLE. Everyone finds you compelling and charming and unique. Most people have never used a Square in the full setup and so you never cease to impress - signing for a purchase with your finger is completely novel for at least the first 10 purchases. If Square were a person, you would be Princess Kate...we suspicion she is super friendly, yet reliable and patient. Plus, we just envy her hair and we would like to be her friend.
As you well know, Square, we've had a few mishaps...namely when someone tried to sign their name on your screen with an actual PEN. And please forgive me for the day I actually disconnected the cash drawer plug-in and spent 20 minutes blaming you. It wasn't even your fault...please forgive me for being grouchy and considering using a screwdriver to pry open your cash drawer. Let us never speak of it again.
And Square, you've been with Team PJP through our very best days of sales to our slowest days of sales. You never judge, but just offer up our sales numbers with a mere entry of a password. Also, you are kind enough to collect all sorts of meaningful data...if I were so inclined right now, I could research just how many baby pies we've sold since our doors opened on April 17, 2014. I could tell you how many of those were French Silk. I could tell you our growth percentages comparative to a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, a few hours ago. (Please note...I'm not inclined at 10:16 pm to do so). And you know what sets you apart, Square? You make the reports in a way that I can figure out how to use them. I don't need Excel. I don't need formulas. I don't need Xanax and an iPhone calculator to know exactly how many pies we sold in March.
I'll be honest, Square...we get calls all the time from other credit card companies that try to tell us that your processing fees are overly pricey. But we think you are worth 2.8% of each transaction. You are inclusive of all credit cards - yes to AmEx, yes to Discover - and you kindly dump the money into our checking account the next morning. Please, and thank you.
Some people were just meant to be forever and by "some people" we mean PJP + Square = Forever. Cheers to many more years of processing pie purchases, Square...