Stop Us From Being Awkward...

We hosted a super awesome and fun pie-baking class on Wednesday night (read about it here:  What I didn't also tell you about in the Wednesday recap was one other small detail...we also did the photography shoot for the cover of the December issue of Prime Magazine (  Let that sink in for a moment while I mark out "be on the cover of a magazine" from my bucket list.

Prime is an Inside Columbia sister publication geared toward the baby boomers in Columbia.  So in all fairness, Jeanne could have claimed the cover for herself and booted me right out, but then she would have had no one to shop for Spanx and cute heels with on Tuesday.   Because there is nothing more lonely than needing an opinion on how a shoe looks with your outfit and not having a shopping buddy, she was happy to have me along.
Perhaps it was the full moon or the alignment of the stars, but we both found something suitably cute in a surprisingly short amount of time.  That has never happened to us before and if it never does again, it certainly happened at the right time.  On the way home, I was talking to our publicist, Charlotte Wagster, and she had a BRILLIANT idea...some years ago she befriended Elizabeth Scokin, owner of Haute Hostess Aprons (  Elizabeth designs and makes these aprons that can't even really be called aprons.  I am fairly certain that most of them have beading more intricate than my wedding gown.  Let me sum it up by telling you that Princess Kate Middleton received a Haute Hostess apron as a wedding gift.
Charlotte contacted Elizabeth, who added me on Facebook and was willing to overnight us some exceptionally fancy aprons for our photoshoot.  Luckily though, McAdams Ltd ( in Columbia had three Haute Hostess aprons in stock and Elizabeth and McAdams encouraged us to go and borrow several options for a day or so.  By two in the afternoon on Tuesday, I had this in my hot little hands:
It is embellished with Swarovski crystals and I would consider wearing it as a dress if it were only a bit longer, because it is just that beautiful (  Jeanne also got to choose and she went for this
If you can believe it, this apron is even more beautiful in person than in photo.  We loved both of these in a "bury me in this" sort of love.  While we obviously knew we wouldn't be baking in hundreds of dollars borrowed fabric, we couldn't wait to wear these on our cover shoot.  And that they are silver and red?  Even better for the December issue!
At 5:30 pm on Wednesday, LG Patterson from Recess, Inc ( did our shoot.  He loved the aprons, my incessant Austin Power references, and my ability to balance on one heel while holding a pie.  I may have also offered him pie for life if he liberally used Photoshop and make us both look shockingly skinny and young.  (Honestly, I expected a lot of tunes and "give me sultry, give me happy, give me emotion" but I think when you are holding pies, you really just hope for the best in looking cover-ready.  I bet if you ask Cindy Crawford, she would totally agree with this conclusion.)
I don't have a date yet for the magazine release.  Rest assured that I will go to the nearest store and buy their entire stock just to have the cashier look from the magazine to me and be all "is that you???" and then that is one more thing to cross off the bucket list.
This leads me to my next point.  This issue is for December.  It is going to be so terribly awkward if we are on the cover and have no pie shop because Kickstarter didn't fund.  Please, please, please preserve all of our shame and self-worth and consider a pledge to our Kickstarter if you haven't already.  Send the link to everyone you know and include a note that says the self-esteem of two women hangs in the balance of this project:  Do we think I should send my pleas to Princess Kate based on our finely established apron connection?  Does Kickstarter take pledges in English pounds?  Do the British eat pie?  These are things I need to know.