Jeanne-ology

Hey there, it's Rebecca.  I'm super excited to share with you the first in an occasional series called "Jeanne-ology", wherein Jeanne shares her wit and wisdom on...well, everything.  Tonight's topic?  Her favorite topic ever, CLEANING.  Enjoy this love letter to razor blades, SOS pads, and bleach.

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The three things I can't live without are razor blades, SOS pads and bleach.  (Rebecca editing to add:  THIS IS SO VERY TRUE.)

I can't stress the importance of cleaning.  Most people I have encountered don't worry about small items or things that are a little dirty.  HOW COULD YOU????  Being clean and organized brings such peace and pleasure to your environment.  (Rebecca editing to add:  I've seen her iron clean sheets.  I low key wish I could convince her to iron the sheets at my house on a regular basis.)

At PJP, the employees glance out of the corner of their eye when I am inspecting a piece of machinery, the sink, the refrigerator, microwaves, etc.  They know that I am going to delegate some extra cleaning for them to do.  I have signs posted to clean the item before putting anything away i.e., scales, containers, etc.  However, the signs become ignored after a couple of weeks and then I go on my cleaning rampage.  They all hate me when I do because I want everything cleaned right away.  l keep a stash of razor blades handy because they are so great cleaning oven doors, stuck on glue, gunk, floors and about anything you can imagine.  Of course, everyone thinks I am crazy to use razor blades and fear I am going to cut off my fingers!  How ridiculous!  (Rebecca editing to add:  I think what she is saying here is that the employees give her side eye as she starts to list out the chores to be done.  Also, if I had a dollar for every time she's cut herself...)

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I buy razor blades in bulk because there are so many uses for them.  Folding a paper towel over the sharp edge will clean between the toilet and the floor until it sparkles.  A razor blade will clean any oven without using any chemical spray to soften the baked on gunk.  Your oven will look brand new!  The razor blade will also clean the glass oven door and get into any crevice that is hard to reach.  A razor blade will immediately remove any stuck on spots on a window, a razor blade will clean the difficult corners of a floor before you mop.  (Rebecca editing to add:  Can someone from the razor blade industry please call me ASAP?  I'm willing to sell this testimonial for the right price.)

Outside of my love for the razor blade, I adore SOS pads. They are easy to use and clean up metal trays, the bottom of skillets, sinks and such.  Rebecca thinks SOS pads are so passe.  There are to many new cleaning products on the market.  She remembers the SOS pads I used when she was a little girl.  I try to convince her that some things don't need to be replaced because they have been around for ever. She usually rolls her eyes.  (Rebecca editing to add:  This is not technically true.  I don't like SOS pads because of the blue soap they make.  It's weird.)

My husband thinks I clean too much.  No one will ever notice the gunk stuck in the corner of the floor.  He thinks that cleaning the toilet bowl with a brush is sufficient.  Who cleans the outside of the toilet bowl?  The inside is the most important, he says.  I ask him when did he drop his standards?  Maybe he never had them.  (Rebecca editing to add:  She will straight up clean inside a random toilet bowl without flinching.  It's a skill.)

I know I am bullish on keeping things clean.  When you think about how much a huge mixer and ovens cost, then let's keep those items in the best condition they can be.  I also think that people that see built up dirt in your business can't be too enticed to buy a food item from you.  I know I wouldn't!  I am always scanning a food establishment to determine how clean they are.  If they seem dirty, they probably are.  I wish I could see into the kitchen of every restaurant I visit.  I remember that a few years ago, I saw a five gallon bucket of chicken parts floating in some water, not refigerated, just sitting on the floor to be used later for the dinner menu.  I never entertained eating at that establishment.  (Rebecca editing to add:  Dropping Jeanne off at a dubious commercial kitchen and watching her implode would be the greatest reality television show ever created in the history of television.  Can someone from Bravo  please call me ASAP?)

Bleach is wonderful!  Bleach can make your clothes whiter, the toilet bowl sparkle and the sinks cleaner.  Although you need to be careful using bleach because I have ruined a lot of clothing because it splashes.  But the cost of spotted clothing is well worth it.  Outside of cleaning it also santitizes! I always keep a few bottles on hand.  Now they make a foaming bleach.  LIfe couldn't get any better! (Rebecca editing to add:  Bleach stains were a common theme of my childhood.)

It doesn't take much to make me happy. I just tell Rebecca to buy me a pack of razor blades, SOS pads or bleach for my birthday or Christmas present.   She isn't amused.  (Rebecca editing to add:  Uh, yes I am.  Because asking for razor blades, SOS pads, and bleach for any major milestone or holiday is RIDICULOUS.)

Rebecca Miller