A Cornucopia of News...
Last week, I briefly mentioned that a machine exists that might be able to press our dough into our four-ounce jelly jars, thereby eliminating 92.7% of the work and frustration that comes with Jelly Jar pies. All week long, Jeanne and I dreamed of the machine - the Cornucopia KN550 - and thought about Jelly Jar pies for the MASSES if we owned that sucker. (Not to mention the name of the machine...the Cornucopia KN550 could be the best machine name EVER. The production of that machine should surely be tracked by TPS reports, just saying.)
By best estimates, if the Cornucopia KN550 is operated by skilled labor, it may produce 1,000 jars an HOUR. (Just thinking of Mitch and Gunnar in "skilled labor" t-shirts makes me snicker to myself...). And after making 2,760 jars over the course of a few days, one thousand jelly jars per hour sounded basically like pie-baking nirvana. So we called the company responsible for the Cornucopia KN550 for the pertinent details. With zero hesitation, the company representative that fielded our email and phone questions offered to come to PJP Buttonwood for the in-person lowdown on the using the Cornucopia KN550 for the jelly jar pies.
And it turns out that he is willing to drive here...
We offered to perhaps ship a six-pack of jelly jars to the salespersons' address in the Chicago suburbs, but he insisted he would fly to see us instead. And then he decided to drive to see us. And between you and me, does anyone else feel like tomorrow at noon is going to be awkward?
First, what if he shows up and expects us to be A THING? What if he walks into PJP Buttonwood and asks where the rest of it is? Is he envisioning a factory? Is he envisioning a multi-national and multi-faceted operation? Will we dash all of his big commission dreams in our 1,000 square foot space?
Second, he isn't sure this machine works with glass...and the glass jar is the crucial part of a Jelly Jar pie. He isn't traveling with the machine...so he could be wasting an entire day for something that isn't even a remote possibility. Cue my guilt feelings.
Finally, oh...we don't have $85,000 dollars. Even though the machine sounds awesome. Even though it has an awesome name. Even though I would feel awesome to own one. And of course the company leases and finances...but AT A PRICE. If we instituted a Cornucopia Surcharge of .25 on every six-pack of jelly jar pies sold, it would take 340,000 six-packs to earn the money. Yay? GOALS.
And whatever, because I guess the best question is: do we think he will bring us swag bags for our weekend meeting?