Everything looks better in the movies
There is a great line in a Nora Ephron movie where the supporting character says to the main character: "You don't want to be in love...you want to be in love in a movie." Say what you will about chick flicks, but Ephron's thinking resonated with her audience because she spoke to the universal truth that everything looks better when in the movies. If you think about the shop she created for Meg Ryan's character in You've Got Mail, you can hardly imagine anything more quaint and charming. The whole reason we all hated Fox Books was because it was big and corporate and Shop Around The Corner was, well, adorable. Add in Ryan's ubiquitous pixie haircut and her bouquets of sharpened pencils and we can all get over the closing of her store if the guy that shows up in the park in the last scene is, in fact, Tom Hanks as Joe Fox with his dog, Brinkley.
This brings me to the point that Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kelly a) has great hair, even 16 years later, and b) probably never wanted to hide in the back of her shop because she was fresh out of responses to questions and opinions about new ideas. Kathleen Kelly always had it all together...because Kathleen Kelly exists in movie form only.
This morning we found ourselves in an accountant's office...which is not our natural habitat. We called on the ladies at Accounting Plus because we need 100% less crying when the Department of Revenue sends obscure booklets that come with penalty of jail time if you mess them up or forget to file them. Also, Behind-The-Scenes-Tech-Guru Jason was wearing the dual hat of Bank-Statement-Reconciling Jason and that is a lot of job, even for someone who considers doing the checkbook to be a relaxation activity. It was increasingly clear that perhaps we were all surpassing our skill set where QuickBooks, K1 returns, and depreciation are concerned. So while finding a team of accounting experts wasn't on my 2014 Bucket List, I'm happy it is done and it is one less thing to worry about. I can't wait to receive all sorts of reports that I likely won't be able to decipher. Do we think I would lose any professional gravitas with Accounting Plus if I asked whether they could just put a big "thumb up" or "thumbs down" stamp on the financials?
After our scintillating meeting about taxes, we headed to Hobby Lobby to return World's Worst Chalkboard. Last week, we bought two super cute chalkboards to write on with Bistro Markers each day as we announced our pie baking schedule. Turns out that if you buy a $69.99 chalkboard easel and then you write on that chalkboard with said markers, you will never ever ever get the marker off the board (even if you try Oxyclean, Windex, clean water, and a random cleaner that Office Depot suggested). Turns out that Hobby Lobby people suggest a Windex/Magic Eraser combination to get the majority of the marker off of the board. They also suggested, via Amazon comments, that you coat the board in dustless chalk first. And herein lies why I'm not good at crafting...I see a chalkboard and markers and I just want it to be done. Rubbing chalk on the board just seems like more patience than I can muster up on a Monday afternoon after already having cleaned the board with enough chemicals to make Al Gore cry. Don't make chalkboard markers that don't come off chalkboard...seems logical, no?
Off we went next to Sam's to get shortening and cutting knives and Maker's Mark. We also got a massive cheap soda and shared a pretzel. G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S. We didn't even peruse the wine and/or book section.
And then we went to FastSigns to describe that while we wanted a menu board, we had no concrete thought about what that should look like or how we wanted to make that happen. We also went completely off tangent by discussing car decals, logo stickers, and pie variety stickers. After we left, I sent over an eps file of our logo and a list of our pies. FastSigns has promised something pretty awesome in four days or so and we are hopeful. Anything to alleviate the confusion when someone walks in and wonders if we make pie, when we make pie, and how we make pie makes me happy. We might - and dare I say it - go fancy and make the whole thing magnetic on our wall of stainless steel.
And because we are super fancy, after FastSigns, we went to Wal-Mart and bought a cordless phone. Don't be jealous. But if you are, call and tell us on our new phone number...447-PIES.
Then we baked a lot. And tried to merchandise. And then baked some more. And then boxed pies. And the point of this is to tell you that in no way did we live the life of Nora Ephron movie business ownership for this occasion...in fact, it felt a little more like Lucy and Ethel shenanigans.
Except Lucy and Ethel never picked a butter hunk out of the other one's hair.